Exegesis III: The Reckoning

I think rather than posting another non sequitur after that last ultimate recap I'll just recklessly carry on, because damn it, I live life on the edge!

Iowa Games. Ames ToP's only yearly tournament. The past two years we were denied victory, but this year, this year would be the one. Our pool consisted of what we originally perceived as being the hardest group of teams in the tournament. We were wrong. We were also wrong about this year being the one. That was a bit of a letdown. Given a choice between being wrong about our pool and being wrong about our prediction to win, I would have most likely chosen the pool thing.

Upon arrival to the fields (the furthest fields away from the road, somebody doesn't think much of ultimate) I noticed a few things. 1. I was quite early, so the awesome, "that one Nationals CLX video where it's perfectly flat fields, a slight fog, and scores of discs being thrown through the air with spiffy inspirational background music and the GOOD GOD IT'S NATIONALS" feeling was inexplicably absent. 2. Your college team that you're going to be the captain of doesn't really like it when you don't play on their team. and 3. Man some of these teams suck balls.

Yet again a slight wind, although a bit more stiff than in Freedom Fest. Enough that certain enterprising teams would attempt to form a cup (Protip: that was a really bad idea). Our first game was against a very green looking Marshalltown team. Our warmups were so breathtaking that many of their players were visibly shaken, but then again, that's what happens when you bring little city boys to a big man's tournament. We dominate 9-3. I was particularly happy with myself that game, as I had finally gone out and purchased a few pairs of nice pre-ultimate pants, so on the sidelines I was reppin' the Goodwill Scene like nobody's business. Color my team impressed.

Game two, Cobra Kai. Now I have to hand it them, the players of Cobra Kai are equally as harsh on each other on the field as they are in the dojo. Additionally, they had some future UNI players that I was scoping out. One cutter, and pseudo-handler it looked like. I like the cutter, he was fast, quiet, probably is used to losing, typical UNI material. The pseudo-handler I really can't see playing ultimate with UNI, although if he did he'd be a nice change. Like every player on UNI, though, his throws are all incredibly inconsistent, but that can easily be done away with. Game-wise, Cobra Kai comes out swinging, takes us to 2's. Unfortunately for them, however, this time it was Ames Top that swept the leg. ToP 9-3.

Next up Team Backseat I believe. They had green jerseys. I think Paul Utesh(?) was playing on their team? He plays for forest green in DSM League, I don't really know the guy. ToP 9-1. Only highlight of this game that I remember: I took off my shirt as it was about prime burning time and I wanted to avoid last year's train wreck that was my tan lines. I quickly hear a mocking, "gonna show off the bod a little bit eh Muscles?" I had no reply, although found this endlessly humorous the whole tournament (I'm not that muscular).

The Cybernetic Tractor Farm Machines, or more commonly known as UNIPUC. Do you think I should change our name to CTFM? Because I think I should change the name to CTFM. At least then we'd get some respect. The UNI team had been playing abysmally the entire tournament and I mean I guess they did outscore the other teams up to this point, but they looked absolutely terrible. None of the players other than B-Long had been playing over the summer. Terp was playing terribly. B-Long isn't, and never will be a handler, not to mention he still needs to learn the basics of being a cutter. And they had Drake players. Drake players look up to us UNI players as gods of the sport. That might or might not tell you a few things about their team. ToP 9-4.

Being the 2nd seed, for some reason, all we had left was PaB to clinch out our pool. We had heard from the previous teams that the extent of the PaB offense was just to send Gerard deep every play. Naturally, I was given the joy that was to guard him (it actually wasn't that bad). Somewhere in between Solstice and now I've somehow worked up the calling card of being able to guard the opposing team's deep man and/or quickest cutter. I like that feeling, although I wish I knew how exactly I managed to earn that reputation. Regardless, Gerard was shut down for the most part, except for the first of many disappointments, that being a badly placed huck tipped by Mark Shirbroun, that I laid out for and D'd, only to end up having the wind take it and place it directly in Gerard's hands. Damn wind. It would've been fine, if only that exact same thing wouldn't have happened three to four points later.

We went down early, but spurred on by the great defensive stand that not only I, but the rest of our A-team (that being myself, Greg, Dunlay, Torin, Mark and two other people) experienced, we raced into the lead and let it be known that we were unequivocal kings of our pool. I think we may have turned it once, if at all, after the comeback started at 2-4 or so. We were pumped. It may have been the poach and/or lazy D of most of those guys, but working it upwind with Dunlay/Greg and the precision patience of our dump-swing red zone offense felt amazing. If we would've played the Candliers like we did PaB it probably would've been a much closer game. Top 9-5.

A brief 30-minute lunch break followed. I definitely regret not eating/drinking really anything in between this point and the Candliers game. In a one day tournament with eight games in it, definitely not a smart thing to do. The future of UNIPUC ultimate was discussed during this time frame. I have my work cut out for me.

Game Six (ugh). Des Moines Huckers. Led by the shenanigans of Dylan Huey, we never really had much to worry about this team. Dylan had his usual choice words, one of the old guys from UNI was on this team, meh. I think Dumbledore's Army (i.e. the other AHS players) came to watch during this game. They booed us for a little bit, it was cute. Yet another heartbreaking layout D, this time I just didn't get a solid enough hand on the disc. Also, although I didn't mention it earlier, Dunlay again had the same opportunity to get the layout, but for fear of killing me, he declined. Heart you Dunlay! Ames ToP 11-7(?)

The Pella Game. My team told me I looked incredibly burnt out at this point, I was beginning to feel the beginnings of the hydration problems here. Looking back on it that's probably why I remember so little of the actual game. I do remember that Mark got in large arguing match with Loynachan, I like having people that get angry/loud really easily on my team. They provide entertainment. There was a foul called on a second bid for a disc, but both had legitimately made a play on the disc and became tangled at the end. I sided with Mark, as he succinctly put it, "Well then, I guess I should call a foul too!"

...Although his quote kind of loses something in translation. Try saying that to yourself with a Sean Connery accent to it. That's the ticket.

Some other mildly interesting things occurred. Loynachan grunted a lot, Trent was old, you know where I'm going with this. ToP 11-8(?)

And on to the finals we went. To steel myself for such a momentous occasion I was driven to a Portajohn and relieved myself. When I came back we had already started and assumed a losing position. We never really did much about that. They absolutely slaughtered us between their height, vast experience, superb throwing ability, and unique fashion sense. At this point I was unable to will myself to care, as nearly every first cut made allowed a D or dropped the disc. Things like that tend to bring down morale. We probably lost 5-13. At least we continually improve I guess? 8th to 3rd to 2nd. Too bad there probably won't be an Ames ToP around next year to try for the final victory.

Pros: Continual improvement. (Mostly) beating all the teams that we knew/mattered. Solid play from the team in general. The weather being amazing for once. Watching Mark and Brian go at it. Rubbing Dylan Huey the wrong way. Outscoring our pool 45-16.

Cons: Didn't get to eliminate Dumbledore's Army. The three layout D's that weren't actually D's, but points for the other team. UNIPUC's play.